No Idea What You Want to Do Next? Start With What You Loathe

I have no idea what I want to do.

Lovely. Welcome. You’re in excellent company.

Because here’s something nobody tells you at school: most grown-ups don’t know what they want to do either. They just got very good at nodding confidently in meetings.

So if you’ve been lying awake thinking “Everyone else seems to have it sorted. What’s wrong with me?”, I’d like to grab  that thought, burn it and send the ashes to an out realm.
Nothing is wrong with you. Not knowing is completely normal. It just means you haven’t found the answer yet, not that there isn’t one.

Some of the most interesting careers I’ve seen started with a shrug and an “I’m not sure, but I’ll give it a go.”

You’re allowed a good grumble

Now, I’m a coach, so you might expect me to start with “What are your dreams? What lights you up?”

We’ll get there. But when someone tells me they have no idea what they want, I often start somewhere much easier and, if I’m being honest, a lot more fun.

We start with a grumble.

Not a moan for the sake of it (no-one needs that in their life), but a proper, productive grumble. Because most of us find it far easier to say what we can’t stand than what we want. And everything you loathe is quietly telling you something useful about what you need.

Think of it as a complaints department where every complaint gets turned into something useful. Very different from the usual kind.

Meet the Love It & Loathe It Lists

Grab a cuppa and a pen. Paper, please, not your phone, or you’ll end up reading about someone’s kitchen extension within ninety seconds.

• Draw two columns: Love It on one side, Loathe It on the other.
• Go wide. Your current job, past jobs, even that Saturday job that involved a hairnet. Think tasks, people, pace, places, how your week feels.
• Be specific. “Meetings” is fine. “The Monday meeting where we read the same spreadsheet out loud” is better.
• Don’t edit. If it pops into your head, it goes on the list.
• Spot the patterns. Circle the three that make you groan loudest and the three that make you smile.

Then flip your loathes. “Being micromanaged” becomes “I need trust and space to get on with it.” “Endless admin” becomes “I want to spend most of my time with people.” Suddenly your grumble has turned into a wish list.

Clarity loves a bit of movement

This list won’t hand you a job title on a plate. What it will do is get you moving, and that’s where clarity comes from. Every small action, a conversation, a course taster, a coffee with someone in a job that sounds interesting, adds a little more to the picture.

You don’t have to know. You just have to start.

And if your first small step turns out to be a dud? Brilliant. That’s another line for the Loathe It column, and one more thing you never have to wonder about again. Crossing things off is just as useful as finding new ones.