Confidence is not about never failing.
No, true confidence is about failing in public, possibly with spinach in your teeth, and still maintaining the self-belief of a slightly confused golden retriever who thinks he’s a wolf.
I’ve worked with CEOs, creatives, career-changers, and business owners starting all over again – huge respect to them all as this takes bravery. And I can tell you: everyone fails. But confident people? They fail with flair. They see it as gracefully tripping over their own greatness.
They’re humble with it rather than pushing their ego to the forefront or denying their failure, or – and this is the worst in my opinion – blaming someone else for their mistakes.
So how do you keep your head high when everything around you is collapsing like a bad soufflé? Buckle up, buttercup. Here are my top tips for staying confident – even while spectacularly failing.
Because we all fail and that is ok. I still remember when I fell up the stairs to collect a school prize (my only 1 I think) in front of the entire school – eurghh – total cringe.
And when I completely forgot the name of a lady I had met 3 times before – 3 times!!
Rebrand Failure as “Limited Edition Learning”
First of all, stop calling it failure. That word is banned. From now on, you’re having a Limited Edition Learning Experience™. It’s exclusive. Boutique. Nobody else failed exactly the way you just did.
Confidence isn’t about being perfect. It’s about reframing your “oops” moments as “Aha!” moments (with a touch of delusion and a lot of resilience). We learn so much more from failure than success so use it to get you closer to your win.
Channel Your Inner Beyonce
Confidence isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about committing to the performance.
You know that person at karaoke who can’t hit a note but sings like they’re headlining Glastonbury? That’s the energy. They’re not embarrassed. They’re unstoppable.
Next time you trip up in a meeting or forget your point during a presentation, don’t shrink – own it. Bonus points if you make fun of yourself and use it to connect to your audience even more deeply. Chances are, they will have even more respect for you if you acknowledge your slip up, have a quick laugh and then move on.
Prepare to Fail Like a Pro
Look, even astronauts rehearse for space disasters. Why? Because failing is part of the process. So expect failure – but don’t fear it.
Have a go-to confidence-saving line ready:
“Well, that didn’t go as planned, but now we have a great story.”
“That was just the beta version.”
“Mistakes build character. I’m practically bursting with it.”
Practice failing fast, laughing faster, and recovering like the legend you are.
Make Friends with the Awkward
You will spill your coffee, forget someone’s name, or send an email to the wrong person. The very wrong person (May we all recover from that one.)
Confidence isn’t in the avoidance of awkward moments as it’s in your ability to survive them without disintegrating.
Say this with me: “Awkward isn’t fatal.”
In fact, awkward is relatable. Instead say something like, “Well, that was very human of me.” People love a confident human.
Remember: Nobody Cares as Much as You Think They Do
Honestly they really don’t. Everyone’s too busy obsessing over their own mistakes to notice yours.
You think they’re replaying your awkward comment in their heads? They’re not. They’re wondering if you noticed their pit sweat.
Can you honestly remember all of your colleague’s mistakes? Well then – confidence blooms when you realise that you are not the centre of the universe… but you can still be a star in your own weird little galaxy.
Adopt the Motto: “Fail Loud, Recover Louder”
When you mess up, don’t slink away. Stand tall. Make a comeback so bold it needs a soundtrack.
You tried. You failed. But you tried again. That’s where confidence lives – in your resilience, not the results.
It’s about showing up, dusting yourself off, and going again. With a smile. Maybe with gin.
So, the next time you mess up (and you will), don’t let it shrink you. Stand taller. Laugh louder. Learn faster.
Need a boost after a particularly creative failure? I offer transformative confidence coaching with a side of humour. Get in touch – awkward moments are most welcome.
